Your heart is very open by Sophia Nicholson


     Your heart is very open                                                                      


Have you done Sufi whirling? i feel a strong karmic connection. Radio V are interested in my journey, my disciplines and practices and what i do in the studio. Colon cleanse. Gurdjieff movements. Teaching Pilates. i love to see you. i want to see you. Sorry, i don’t watch 18 movies. i don’t want that kind of imagery going into my consciousness. Come to mine. Text me when you arrive. Or knock very quietly. To me you’re really pretty. i’d like to see you in black silk and lace. You look like an angel in your underwear. Is light slapping ok? Can i pull your hair? You don’t like choking? Some people do. Baby you feel so good. When i look at you i want to…can i come on your face? Does it hurt a lot? Don’t worry. It won’t take much longer.

I have to give you maximum points for this

I could’ve looked for a chemist’s in Finsbury Park before getting on the bus but punctuality’s my thing. After three months of nothing, I didn’t expect more than a few light spots. Scrunched up loo roll. An hour later you fetched a towel but we were moving around too much. I’d seen my other friend earlier on. He’d been in too much of a rush so I was half way there already. You didn’t mind that you looked as though you’d been eating lipstick and even though your flatmates were around I didn’t hold back. Next morning, an old scouring pad did a decent job on the mattress. You didn’t flinch, even when your favourite white T got smeared.

I’m fine I think


It’s ok darling

I only feel slightly sick

don’t worry about me

it was sort of alright

lying down together 

I wasn’t trying too hard

to work out how long 

since our last time in bed

and then taking our jeans off

when our mouths met

I realised how much I’d missed

your fluids

but when you squeezed

inside my bra

touching me so close

to my heart

.                                  and then you had to get up

to play tennis

you said

you didn’t want to pursue it

 but you hadn’t touched a woman

for six weeks

(the trouble with long distance)

I do wish you well

with her I do


your happiness of course

                                                    most spotlessly

only a mild reflux

of regret

I did like kissing you

wet and pink

like an internal organ

I didn’t want it to stop

I wish it hadn’t started

when your text arrives

I’ll be waiting

Sophia Nicholson is a poet and song writer. Her poems have appeared in Ink Sweat & Tears and New Welsh Review, and her debut E.P. ‘Blue Sky Falling’ is available on all streaming services.

27 October 2021